I browse like twice a day on Yahoo Answers looking for questions that I can help with. I think of it as my good deed of the day. Once I find a question that I can relate to and help with, I respond, with the best of my knowledge of course, and hope it helps. After a while, If the person likes my answer or if it helps, I normally get voted Best Answer. The questions I then post here are one's I received Best Answer for.
So heres the question:
"I just found out I'm pregnant and I am currently in my Sophomore year of college. The father and I live together and I know he'll be around to help, but I'm still worrying about how to balance everything. Any advice Please only advice. Thanks."- L****9
My Answer:
"For one it is awesome that the father is eager to help you. Believe it or not I've been told that is hard to find. I was also in a similar situation when I found myself pregnant with my first. I was about to finish my sophomore year when I found out. The going to class pregnant part has it's own challenges however if you fight through them, they are doable. The biggest advice I can give is to search heavily for a good daycare, nanny, or support system that can watch the child if you have to go on campus. I lucked out and only had to put my son in daycare for 1 day, 1 semester, but that isn't always the case. The biggest thing is to plan ahead and remember to take it 1 day at a time!"
To dig into this further. I will say that it was extremely hard. I'm not going to paint some picture where I come out the best mom in the world, with the perfect balance and happiness. There were nights I cried, days I just did not want to get out of the bed and times when seriously I just forgot to eat. However I forced myself through it and finally found my balance. Now with my second baby at home, and my oldest as a toddler it is much easier. There are a few steps I decided to make that made it a bit easier.
First I adapted to my son's sleeping schedule. Ray (my oldest) was sleeping through the night since we brought him home, so it was extremely easy. And in the day if he napped, I napped, when he was up I took those moments to eat, do homework and enjoy leisure time. Sometimes when he would sleep I would get more work done. They tend to sleep every 2-4 hours for about an hour and a half so I got tons done.
Second, I reminded myself that I'm human. Not one of those android moms they show in the commercials. Baby's will cry, so just expected to cry yourself. Postpartum can hit you at any given time so just look out for signs of this and make sure you establish a supporting safety net. My husband was amazing at being there for me. He allowed me to get out and breathe for how ever long I needed without having to worry about the baby's safety. I soon replaced that with actually working at nights. That way I was away from the baby and able to make money to spend on things that would only make me happier.
Third, consider any and every way to make your life easy. So the school I was attending at the time, Georgia State University, didn't offer many online courses or flexibility. I knew that with the complications I was having during the pregnancy that I would need a university that would be willing to work with me. So I transferred to Kennesaw State University whom was use to non-traditional students like myself. I must say out of all the schools I've attended, this university is amazing at understanding that not every student fits into a cookie cutter mold. 90% of the courses I have taken at KSU have been online, so I've been able to stay home with my kids. However when I did have courses that had to be taken in person I did them during the summer, when my sister would stay with me and watch them. Or I brought my oldest to daycare for the given day, which is a whole other experience for another post.
So the best summed up advice I can give is to breathe, remember your human and that it takes time, patience and experience to become a super mom and have a plan A, plan B and even at times a plan C.
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